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Nystagmus, continued
"Your eyelid is twitching... your eye is still, but your eyelid is twitching". That's what my wife told me. Nystagmus is not easily to be tamed. I have learned to feel it, and in some cases stop it for a few minutes; but it is always temporary relief. It comes back, the world blurs, until I turn my head sideways, to find that mysterious quiet spot. Thus, with my head sideways, I have existed most of my life.
What is stronger, love or power? Is it better to feel and understand or to control and direct? I started out with Love, trying to feel the nystagmus, but as time progresses and I loose patience I try more to control. "You just have to convince yourself", my father said once. So I made up a little chant, a spell, of sorts. In another method, I also try just to see a small object without shaking. maybe a capital T in some presentation I am watching - or a speed limit sign - see it without blurring, just a clean shape. If it works, I can place my finger on one closed eye for a second and feel the shaking is mostly gone. Otherwise it shakes and this does not work, then I try the spell.
Also yesterday during a meeting, i caught it by looking off to the side, and brought it back to the center, it was an interesting feeling to dodge it that way, but I could not repeat it after the shaking started back up again.
If one Will do it, it can be done.
What is stronger, love or power? Is it better to feel and understand or to control and direct? I started out with Love, trying to feel the nystagmus, but as time progresses and I loose patience I try more to control. "You just have to convince yourself", my father said once. So I made up a little chant, a spell, of sorts. In another method, I also try just to see a small object without shaking. maybe a capital T in some presentation I am watching - or a speed limit sign - see it without blurring, just a clean shape. If it works, I can place my finger on one closed eye for a second and feel the shaking is mostly gone. Otherwise it shakes and this does not work, then I try the spell.
Also yesterday during a meeting, i caught it by looking off to the side, and brought it back to the center, it was an interesting feeling to dodge it that way, but I could not repeat it after the shaking started back up again.
If one Will do it, it can be done.